A rescued reddit series
Tales From a Dishonest Used Car Dealership
29 stories · ≈ 5 hours of reading · December 2022 – January 2023
The following stories are from reddit user u/36055512, posting highlights from their time as manager of an auto repair shop at a used car dealer. The originals have since disappeared from reddit — this page preserves them.
For the record: none of this is mine. I didn’t write a word of it, I wasn’t there, and I have never sold anyone a car. I’m just the person who refused to let these stories disappear from the internet.
- 1
The Inventory Control Numbers
I’m not in IT, but in auto repair, but since cars are technology (sorta) and modern automobiles are basically poorly-designed computers with barely-controlled explosions powering them (kinda), I hope - 2
The Warning Light
I’m sitting at my desk on a rainy Thursday when my phone rings. It’s one of our sales staff, who I shall call Lady Applebee’s, since that was apparently the only place she ever ate. - 3
The Thief
Hey all, another auto repair story here. This one’ll be a long one, I’m afraid, but I’m loathe to break it into multiple parts. - 4
The Stakeout
Among the office staff at Dishonest Used Car Dealership was a particular young lady who handled our interactions with government offices like the DMV, the Department of Transportation, Customs, and so - 5
The Runaway
After the dark revelations of Incompetent Tech Guy’s demise in the previous story, I thought it might be time for some shorter, lighter stories for a bit. As always, I truly appreciate the warm recept - 6
The Fall of Man
Around here, it almost never snows. It’s not real warm here, but snow is rare, so when it does happen, we are all woefully unprepared. It’s February, and we’ve received an inch of snow, bringing the c - 7
The Land Speed Record
The owners of Dishonest Used Car Dealership weren’t particularly business-savvy, but they knew to hop on trends in the market when they appeared, and so all of the sudden we found ourselves as a new, - 8
The Locker Swap
It was another cold icy winter’s day at Dishonest Used Car Dealership. I was sitting nursing a hangover when I heard our Incompetent Tech Guy come in and march into Colossal Redneck’s office. The door - 9
The Screaming Noise
Among the many dubious electric vehicles at Dishonest Used Car Dealership was the Myers NmG, also known as the Corbin Sparrow. Like most cheap-ish electric cars, it was a fiberglass three-wheeler, onl - 10
The Proletarian
Well, I had planned on posting this yesterday, but someone broke into the junction box at the end of my alleyway and started yanking out coax, presumably for reasons related to meth. Good times, livin - 11
The Key Box
I was in my office at Dishonest Used Car Dealership one lazy Friday when my cell phone lit up with the caller ID for Rom. Why he almost always called my cell instead of my desk phone is a mystery for - 12
The Warning sign
It was yet another anonymous grey winter’s day at Dishonest Used Car Dealership, and I was sitting at my desk semi-consciously staring at my computer screen. There was a pile of paperwork on my desk t - 13
The Off-Road Excursion
Mr. Ferrari rolled up into Dishonest Used Car Dealership’s parking lot his usual hour or so late, only this time, he was piloting something new. Rather than his usual 5-series, he had a brand new Land - 14
The Language Barrier
Hey party people in the place to be. Since it’s a dumb fake holiday that celebrates doing dumb fake things to dumb fake people, today I’m giving you a story that’s maybe a little light on the tech, bu - 15
The Destruct-o-Tron 2000
”Dude, it’s a mess.” - 16
The Fill-Up
”Dude, why do half the cars on the lot run like sh\t?” - 17
The Turf War
A couple doors down in the industrial park from Dishonest Used Car Dealership was a shop that built canoes and kayaks. We hated each other. When I got hired on as a service writer, the guy I was repla - 18
The Server
”SERVER’S DOWN! SERVER’S DOWN!” - 19
The Placebo Effect
”So, why is it that the red one is so much slower?” - 20
The Friends and Family Deal
“You gonna be out at your girlfriend’s this weekend?” - 21
The Outlook Rule
It’s yet another rainy Wednesday, and I sauntered back from lunch. The sandwich shop in the strip mall next door had become such a frequent visit for members of the service staff that they had a Disho - 22
The Fire (Part 1)
A flatbed tow truck pulled into Dishonest Used Car Dealership early on a drizzling grey Wednesday morning. On the back was an orange Volvo C70 cabrio, or more accurately, what remained of one. From th - 23
The Fire (Part 2)
As you’ll recall from Part 1, we had more than a bit of a conundrum at Dishonest Used Car Dealership. I had a Volvo C70 on my hands that had burnt to a crisp, and it sure looked like might have been o - 24
The Stash
”So, we’ve been pleased with your work, and that comes with some benefits around here.” - 25
The Weak Connection
So, somebody thought I might be dead yesterday, (which, frankly, isn’t a bad guess) so I guess that’s my reminder to post something, lest someone send out a search party. - 26
The Exodus (Part 1)
Things were quiet and tense around Dishonest Used Car Dealership in the weeks following the revelation that our Incompetent Tech Guy had been stalking The Diplomat. Both of them were gone, ITG to a ho - 27
The Exodus (Part 2)
”I think it is all fixed for you.” - 28
The Exodus (Part 3)
This is it, folks, the last part of the last story from my days at Dishonest Used Car Dealership. It’s been a hell of a ride, and I want to thank each and every one of you from the bottom of my cold, - 24-B
The Aerial Maneuver
The Aerial Maneuver