Cast of Characters
The Narrator
“I will warn you ahead of time, I am not the hero of my stories, just the protagonist. There are no heroes in the car industry – we are all villains in our own ways.”
Rom
“One of the owners who we shall call Rom, since he so precisely matched both the demeanor and dental hygiene of the DS9 character.”
The Amazon
“She was every bit of eleven feet tall, and loved exactly three things in the world: shouting at employees, shouting at vendors, and shouting at customers. Just shouting, in general.”
Colossal Redneck (CR)
“He was a lazy piece of trash, but he was good with cars, and you could typically count on the bed of his spray painted Chevy pickup having enough empty beer cans in it to pay for lunch.”
Incompetent Tech Guy (ITG)
“A blatant insult to IT professionals everywhere. No one knew why he got hired nor why he managed to still be employed, given that things like Macintoshes and Linux completely baffled him.”
The Raver
“The one I will call The Raver was parked at his desk nursing a cup of tea.”
The Diplomat
“A particular young lady who handled our interactions with government offices like the DMV, the Department of Transportation, Customs, and so forth.”
Lady Applebee’s
“One of our sales staff, who I shall call Lady Applebee’s, since that was apparently the only place she ever ate.”
Miami Vice
“His name in real life sounded uncannily like the kind of fake made-up awesome name that TV detectives always have.”